"Co-Dependents Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships.
The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and fulfilling relationships. We rely on the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions for knowledge and wisdom. These are the principles of our program and guides to developing honest and fulfilling relationships.
Through applying the Twelve Steps and principles in CoDA to our daily life and relationships, both present and past, we can experience a new freedom from our self-defeating lifestyles and realize a new joy, acceptance and serenity in our lives."
- CoDA Preamble Copyright © 2010 Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. and its licensors -All Rights Reserved.
CoDA E-Meditation Sept. 3, 2014
I Worry, Therefore I Am.
Why am I up writing this post before 7 a.m.? Well, it was a holiday weekend and I am a day behind. But actually I couldn't sleep because I was up worrying. Writing this post was one of things I was worrying about.
As a recovering codependent, I feel as if I have a black belt in worry. For me, sleeplessness, racing thoughts and a physical sensation of tension or butterflies in my stomach are all common responses to the internal messages of powerlessness and helplessness my mind defaults to when stressed. These types of daily challenges are the nitty-gritty of codependency recovery.
Even if I'm obsessing about someone else's life and what they should do, worry is usually a sign that there are things in MY life I need to pay attention to. Other times, it's just a bad habit. Things may be going well, but I am "waiting for the other shoe to drop."
Worry itself is a (poor) way to manage stress; it gives the impression that you are "doing something." But worry does not equate "problem solving." They are two different things. Now that I am up and thinking more rationally, I can see that laying in bed worrying just drained my energy. When making major life decisions, is the middle of the night REALLY the best time to come up with a healthy, viable plan?
Einstein said, “Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them." Worry seems to repel such logic, but it might be a good quote to needlepoint and keep by your bed.
Here are several things that help keep my mental house clean:
Write worries down
Exercise every day, to avoid escalation of nervous energy
Talk to someone who can give me another perspective (doesn't have to be a therapist)
Divide them into "Stuff I Can Control" and "Stuff I Can't Control"
Go to meetings regularly
Recite the Serenity Prayer or other prayer
While awake and rational, create a plan of action and take steps to implement it. Even small steps restore a sense of empowerment.
When worries hit in the middle of the night, have a plan: listen to a positive podcast, music, or get up and journal
Remember that having problems does not mean you did something wrong. They are part of life.
Keep your sense of humor
I found this article about anxiety particularly practical:
Peace, Love, and have a great week!
Lynn S. and the CoDA Board
P.S. CoDA Roundup is Wednesday Sept 17th, 7 - 9 p.m. at the 12 Step House! Speakers, raffle, music, food and fellowship!
Free admission, bring a friend!
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